Bucket List
by Luxraays
Summary: In which Joseph tries to beat Caesar at Mario Kart. Cae/Jose, modern-ish AU.


One of the many things Joseph had on his bucket list was to beat Caesar at as many video games as he could afford.

Normally the Italian would scoff and say that he had better things to do than sit around and play video games. Joseph knew this was untrue because he had seen Caesar obliterate his cousin Gryo at Mortal Kombat and Wiisports several times, and _no one_ who says they didn't have time for video games would make _actual tennis stances_ , smack their opponent in the face with the Wii remote, and score past the 2000 mark. He couldn't think of a single casual in the whole world who would do that. Maybe that purple nurple douchebag Kars would, but that guy was always so extra with everything it wouldn't be much of a surprise.

"Caes is just a really competitive guy," Gyro told him that day. Joseph vaguely remembers the teddy bear ice pack covering well over the man's black eye. "It's when he doesn't give a shit that you should start to worry."

Surprisingly, today it only took fifteen 'Caesar play this game with me''s to haul his ass off the couch and down in front of the TV (the usual number was forty seven). Joseph eagerly hands his boyfriend a controller and sifts through his shelf of games.

"What am I beating you at this time, Jojo?" Even though Joseph wasn't facing him he could just _feel_ Caesar arching his eyebrow in that really pretentious and snobby way he always did and god if they weren't dating, he would've probably punched him.

"Haha, you're so funny Caesarino. You should do stand up." Joseph waves his hand dismissively at Caesar before pulling out a grey cartridge and popping it into the console. "Boom. Mario Kart 64, Rainbow Road. Lesgooo."

...

Joseph grins widely as Luigi speeds past the starting line. He's already in third place, not too bad considering the first two are controlled by a computer. He glances down at Caesar's bottom screen to see Princess Peach puttering between fifth and sixth and elbows his ribs. "Cici, dude. You know this is a _racing_ game, right?" He half expected the Italian to whoop his ass at this already.

"It's only the first lap, I'll live." Caesar rolls his eyes. Joseph is stealing glances at him more often than at his own screen now. He's probably just trying to use the element of surprise, but Joseph is much smarter than that.

"What, are you using some sort of strategy? That whole 'slow and steady wins the race' thing? It's not gonna work, bro! I'm too far ahead!" The brunette drapes his whole body against the smaller blond. Caesar simply stays quiet and enjoys Joseph's colorful language for the duration of the game. "HAH, suck my dick Yoshi! Get your cheating bullet ass OUTTA HERE!"

They just started the final lap, Luigi now in second and Princess Peach in fourth. All Joseph has to do was break his tie with that _cheating fucker_ Yoshi and play it safe, then he'd be home free. "C'mon, _c'mon c'mon c'mon_ -First place! Aw YEAH, Mr. Krabs make way for the fucking _king_ -OH MY GOD, DID YOU JUST FUCKING BLUESHELL ME? WHAT THE FUCK!"

The controller falls out of Joseph's hands. He looks on in pure horror as a spiky blue shell smashes into Luigi an inch before the finish line and blasts him into the dark void of nothingness. Princess Peach narrowly slides into first place and Caesar gives Joseph a shit eating grin.

"See, Jojo? You can't beat me, I'm just too good." Caesar just straight up fucking _murdered_ Luigi and he has the nerve to point and laugh at Joseph.

Joseph huffs and crosses his arms, obviously sour from the sudden loss of the game and his iconic green plumber. "Yeah? Then why'd you go easy on me?"

"Because you looked so cute when you were all excited about winning," Caesar pauses for a moment before adding, "And the look on your face when you lost was fucking _hilarious_."

"Why you-!" Joseph lunges forward and the other man lands on his back with a _thud_. "Who's the loser now?" He cackles maniacally and runs his fingers along Caesar's sides. This'll teach him not to mess with a Joestar, he was going to _pay_.

But then he freezes and realizes he has made a grave mistake. His boyfriend was staring up at him, looking completely unaffected by the tickling and frankly, unimpressed. Shit, how could Joseph forget that Caesar wasn't ticklish?

Suddenly Caesar flips him over and at that point he pretty much accepts his fate. This is how the Joestar bloodline ends. Death by tickling, they'll never let him live it down. Caesar barely pokes his boyfriend on his exposed stomach and he's already shrieking and squealing.

"Ahhhh! Caesar- Caesar nooo!" Joseph is crying from laughter as he tries to slap away the blond's cold hands. Caesar only lets up after _ten million years of tickling hell_ before deciding that death by _smooches_ would be the only acceptable way to take down this giant man child.

…

Later that day Caesar crosses out video games, tickle fights, and smooching from his bucket list of things to beat Jojo at.


End file.
